Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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