"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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