I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
