i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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