so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
