4 words: hood of his car
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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