if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
