ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've blown a few things in my day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
