Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He better not be in your backpack
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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