I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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