I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
