I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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