Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My bed smells like the plague
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize