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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
