ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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