I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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