Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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