there's paper in my vomit.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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