i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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