i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
