Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
