Where did you get a picture of my penis
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
