Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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