I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
