Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
