I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
