Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
