Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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