Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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