HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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