Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
