If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
