We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
