So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
no, he came in my armpit
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
