you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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