I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
