it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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