I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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