Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
