Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
