Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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