dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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