I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
