I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
