she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
