Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
