Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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