Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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