not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
