How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
