i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
