YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
