You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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