i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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