And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
