She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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