Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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