My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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