Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
