I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
