Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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