And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
