y did u give ur computer a hand job?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
