I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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