my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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