well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
