Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
