break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
