it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
