he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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