Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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