We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have already put on my inside pants.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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