Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
