i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
