god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
